A Letter From Lockdown in Santa Barbara, California
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By Melissa Devor
Dearest Friends,
Actually all really is fine except that the other day I went to count (since I didn’t hoard toilet paper, I am now carefully assessing our TP situation regularly) the extra TP rolls stored in the guest bathroom’s undersink area. Upon opening the door, I noticed that there seemed to be fluff in the top of the open wooden box rather than tightly packed rolls. With further investigation, it became clear that mice/rats had decided that I had provided a nest for them. Aren’t I sweet? So my 14 back-up rolls were now unusable and the box had to be sterilized and we quickly called the exterminators in. Our first bid for ridding our place of rodents was UNBELIEVABLE, but we got it down to a barely acceptable level and they are trapping, sterilizing areas where rats have been (apparently we had a rat cannibal situation under the house), and closing up all holes that any creeping animal might come in. Our house will soon be a rodent-free environment once again.
Let’s see, what else is new…. I still haven’t met our new granddaughter. Hubby has seen her through a window a couple of times since the lockdown began. Our kids are basically doing okay – although they are all struggling financially and emotionally. And before you ask – we are not their benefactors at this point. Our eldest son, who is now a realtor, hasn’t yet had a sale although he does have a friend/client who is in escrow. Middle son has had to close his pizzeria/bar. I was under the impression, up until today, that they were going to re-open for just take away but Hubby says middle son wants to have his partners buy him out. I can’t quite figure out how that would work since the restaurant is closed and the partnership seems to be basically broke. Their six-week-old baby is very cute but is definitely a baby. We hear complaints about not sleeping and crying, but we also see that our son has pitched in with diaper changing and loving the baby, so we are relieved and pleased. Youngest son is keeping busy baking and doing woodworking projects – building bookshelves and raised herb garden beds and restoring older pieces. He is helping his dad and the neighbors with their car troubles and being very cautious about masks, sanitizer, and gloves. He was this close to landing a really appropriate job when the Covid-19 shut down started. His mother (me) has advised him to keep in touch so as to keep his name front and center with the HR person but, really, there is such a fine line between that and being a pest.
I’ve been semi-busy with house, work, dogs, reading, and some photography. And embarrassingly, with streaming TV. Hubby Fred and I are doing great together. Unfortunately, we have a couple of dear friends who are going through terrible times – one whose husband died recently after a long bout with Lewey-body dementia plus Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. He has bounced around from home to memory care assisted living to hospital to rehabilitation nursing home to hospice through a horrible series of health emergencies. His wife is devastated and has just now fallen badly while walking her dog. She has a broken wrist and badly sprained fingers on the other hand. This woman is a fascinating walking contradiction. She is a fighter from the word go and has been amazingly effective in getting her husband on to studies, in with the best doctors, dealing with the VA for financial benefits, and forcing hospitals and doctors and caregivers to bow to her ideas. But she is also impulsive and determined to have her own way. While her husband was in assisted living memory care, she decided to buy a puppy that was specially trained for dealing with PTSD veterans. She felt that the puppy would be good for her husband when he moved back home and she had remodeled her house to provide ADA compliant bathrooms and a spare room for the round-the-clock caregivers she was making the VA pay for. Unfortunately, the breeder she chose was actually a puppy mill in Utah and when the puppy arrived at LAX it was malnourished, highly anxious and her hair was matted with unmentionables. She clearly had no training at all as she was afraid of people, traffic, loud noises, and men. Obviously this dog wasn’t a good fit for the household and it got worse when it was discovered the dog had giardia and has a severe urinary issue that requires microsurgery. As you can tell there is always drama and I won’t bore you with all the rest of the adventures.
On the upside, we have managed to stay in better touch with those we love. So often pre-Covid-19, rather than calling all I usually seemed able to do is think about our wonderful friends and hoped they were thinking of us. Nowadays, we call, we Zoom, we write and the resultant in-depth conversations with these special people have sustained us and informed us and help us imagine that better days are coming soon. I hope that this more routine connection becomes a pattern in the days post-lockdown There – a very long story of what is going on here. This period of time has been strange, frustrating, and illuminating as to what is really important. As my mother used to say in moments of stress, onward, and upward.
Love to all,
Melissa
Melissa Devor is quarantining at home in Santa Barbara, CA, with her beloved husband, two dogs, and one cat, while missing her three sons, two daughter-in-laws and new granddaughter.
