By Nancy King

I just turned 86. Birthdays are occasions where I think about my younger self, the years I struggled with personal demons caused by various traumas, yet at the same time, managed to live a rich and rewarding professional life.

Fifty years ago, when I was 36, my personal life was a mess. I was in a bad marriage, had no friends with whom I felt I could be myself, and nothing I tried to do—therapy, changing partners, no partners, or writing helped me feel better about myself. So, I focused on my professional life, teaching at a research university where the rules for advancement were clear. Teach well, publish lots, and do service. I wrote books and essays, wrote and directed plays, taught courses I created, and found ways to do service that involved the Center for Teaching Effectiveness, all of which I enjoyed. Twelve years after I began as a part-time instructor with an MA in theatre, I became the seventh woman to be promoted to full professor. Ten years later I earned a PhD, because I had questions about what I was teaching that I wanted to explore, knowing the degree wouldn’t earn me advancement or more money, although I felt better about students calling me Dr. King when I actually had a doctorate.

Fifty years ago, traveling was pleasant, money for workshops and seminars was plentiful, and I had many invitations to teach at various institutions in the US, Canada, Mexico, England, Hungary, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Mexico. It was assumed I’d fly business class and be met at the airport and driven to where I’d be staying.

Fifty years ago, we were fighting a war in Vietnam. The environmental movement was in its infancy, women couldn’t get legal abortions, contraception, except for condoms, was problematical, and despite the civil rights movement, racism was rampant.

Now, at 86, traveling is not pleasant. Although we are not at war, our military budget grows at the expense of social welfare and justice. The Supreme Court has just ruled against voting rights, abortion, environmental protection, and blurred the separation of church and state. Racism is rampant. Environmental disasters have become a too common occurrence.

Now at 86, I have been living in Santa Fe for 22 years. I moved here after unexpectedly finding a house that I immediately loved. I bought the house two hours after seeing it, went back to Delaware the next day, and informed my director I would be leaving the university after completing one more year. When I moved to Santa Fe, I knew one couple and a former student.

Now at 86, my professional life consists of occasional teaching, zoom talks, writing books, essays, and monthly stories that are available on my website; www.nancykingstories.com

Although my personal life is a work in progress. I have worked hard to understand how trauma affected my personal choices. I am now able to have rich and rewarding friendships. Despite dealing with bouts of leukemia for the past 37 years, my health is good and I find great joy in hiking in the mountains, usually by myself since the pandemic began.

At 36 I had no idea how my life would evolve. I could not have envisioned a peaceful personal life, and yet, at 86, I am grateful to be living the life I live.

Santa Fe-based Nancy King’s memoir, Breaking the Silence, (Terra Nova Press) is available online at bookshop.org and amazon.com  as a paperback, audio, and eBook. Please visit www.nancykingstories.com where you can order her books, read about her memoir and novels, learn about her nonfiction exploring the power of stories, imagination, and creativity, and find information about Nancy’s workshops. You can also order signed books from Nancy by contacting her at nanking1224@earthlink.net

Photo by Maggy Schulze.